ON STANDBY…

Today is my last ICEX day. Almost three years since I applied and began, a month later, with the selection process on a rainy day in a Hotel on the outskirts of Madrid. Three nice years. To begin with the boring stuff, work, I liked the course in Madrid (suppose I learnt something), the year in Budapest was heaven (OFCOMES Budapest rocked, people were great and I liked what I did) and with regards to my current job in Vienna… well, no luck there at all, let´s leave it there. Money has not been a problem, that is something. Putting these things aside, in the personal sphere it has been marvellous, due to all the things I´ve experienced, the new things I´ve done and, above all, the people I got to know. That´s what really helps one see the things from a different angle, and, bearin that in mind, these have been three downright enlightening years. Now the end is nigh. Nothing lasts forever. People complain a lot about everything, but, by and large, Icex trainees live like kings. I´ve got no complain whatsoever now. I´m just grateful I lived all this.

Statistics crown the cake. In three years, I´ve lived in three different European capitals (Madrid, Budapest, Vienna). I´ve improved my German (I hope). I got to know many people I now call good friends (from here, loads of thanks, you made it all worth it). ICEX paid a master (that is no master). In the master I did and International marketing plan (smokeselling, in other words. And the bloody idiot, who did not accept FOB Müller´s cover…), exported ambulances to Czech Republic (it took me one sleepless night), had really good teachers (Isaac, awesome) and really bad who blew a lot of smoke (Chimpún or “exportation workshop friends… colleagues… mates”. Many of these latter where consultants in their professional lives. Coincidence?), lost about 6 kilos, and once I did not sleep for four days in a row (could I do that now?). I learnt some Hungarian, I´ve got a diploma (én beszélek jól magyarül!). I´ve polished my skiing skills in Flaine in France, Jasna in Slovakia and Sankt Anton am Arlberg in Austria (the latter was intermingled with some wild beer drinking, the bloody fly who spoiled my first beer outdooors of the year, and great memories such us “I need something salty”, “A clean boy is a happy boy”, “The slopes in Switzerland are never prepared” and “Maiahi für die Spaniard”). I got two high level German titles (in B´pest, there is no Goethe Institut in Austria. I did three market researches (olive oil, distribution, machinery) , visited many trade fairs (some really seedy), wrote about 40 news about Hungarian economy (two times published in “El Exportador”, great magazine, I´ve wrapped countless sandwiches with it), and resolved 163 enquiries about Hungary from Spanish companies (a bloody drag). I corrected 414 Weekly Reports and 99 Monthly Reports (another bloody drag) on a big project of a huge software corporation (I signed a confidentiality agreement, if I gave details I had to kill you), ended up hating excel (FYI: it does not admit more than 4.000 different cell formats, that point reached, you lose everything… go and imagine the size of the chuffing excel tables), wrote two times the grants section of  el País de los Negocios, swallowed mountains of nonsense and shite this year in Vienna (ROI on research, a formula for that…) and underwent the most stupid internet searches one can possibly imagine (hence my current blind faith in Google, if it is not there, it is nowhere to be found). I went to Poland in december without a coat (I sweat it was hot in Budapest, all the same I could borrow something warm, thanks Agz). I´ve seen the Danube in many places (nowhere is it nicer than in Budapest). I taught ski (free of charge, I´m that magnanimous). I leant to cook tortilla de patatas, my coming of age, now I am a proper Spaniard (the biggest challenge of this year in Vienna, much more than anything I might have done in my job; I must add that my tortillas are delicious, thanks Inma for management and supervision). I was Elvis in Cologne Carnival (no pics available, more´s the pity). I was almost homeless in Prague (kitkats do not outweigh death by freezing, Javi) and in Moscow (Javi, great organization… “here´s a link” of hotel Rossija). I started a blog in English and Spanish (and I like it). I endured some beer-drinking sprees sich as stakbierfest in Munich (4 Maβ within two tours) and the less famous but much more pocket-friendly Junifest in Bratislava (Topvar T-shirt for 1 €). I learnt to skate on ice (how shitty Vienna´s ice rinks, how great Budapest´s). I have walked more than 200 Km, give or take, along the Donaukanal (putting all my strolls together, not in a row). I lost, recovered then lost again lots of Hungarian forints in those infamous poker nights at Juanjo´s (they were great, as was the way back home in the Magyar frost at 3.00 A.M. on Wednesday). I´ve sailed the Danube in Budapest and the Adriatic from Split to Hvar (I left the swimming suits on land, but I bathed… lucky I am a a man, others were not that lucky, sorry). One of my feet was painted (only once, it was painted green). I´ve lived in a flat located 5 minutes on foot from the Parliament in Budapest (it had bullet holes from the ´56 revolution). I´ve lived in a flat located 10 minutes on foot from Stephansdom in Vienna (the building was not very fin de siecle, but rather a bit socialist for Vienna, but the flat and the view were great). I´ve bathed a thousand times in Szecheny baths, seen the Danube from the Fishermen´s Bastion yet another thousand times, what fills me with happiness (thanks, Budapest). It was I that furnished my flat in Vienna, what a load of shite, IKEA´s furniture montage (I got help, thanks Inma). I learned to cook “quiches” (everything hand-made, even the bread, I am a pro!). In three years, I´ve taken 35 planes (some really scary, that takeoff in Moscow…), been to 15 different countries, visited 51 cities (see MAP) and taken 4536 photos (here some of them). I´ve eaten  517 chickenn breasts in Hungary, thereof 143 Kijevi Csirkemel in Lúgas – great restaurant - , devoured 326 Schnitzels and 132 Zwiebelrostbrättln in Vienna, paid the university of the sons of the owner of Eissalon Schwedenplatz -  Straciatella and Pralinata orgasm, mmmmm, ¿who cannot like ice cream? – and gulped 37 litres of Edelweiss, 67 Körso Dreher 156 cans of Ottakringer, 417 of Dreher and 246 of others suvh as Erdinger, Zlaty Batant, Arany Askoz, Zwiec y por supuesto Budvar (these are approximate figures).

Not bad, huh? And this is but a bit of it.