ON STANDBY…

Hard to believe, the original cover of The Stones´ "Sticky Fingers" - the one with the zip, see "Times change" - was banned in Spain. It was 1971 and my guess is the censors deemed it too "sexually explicit". So the album was released with a different cover that, in my opinion, was far more shocking and gorey than the original, but hey! It was Franco´s Spain, and when it came to censorship and control, it seems political violence & killings were peanuts in comparison with the devastation a picture showing a crotch (in jeans) could unleash on public morale.

Years ago I went with a friend to an LP fair, and we bumped on the original Spanish cover. It cost 3.000 pesetas (18€), a fortune for any teenager back then. Knowing it was out of his grasp, my friend spent some minutes lovingly caressing and beholding the LP in awe. I will never forget the sad look on his face. Displaying it here is but a small consolation, but it goes for you mate.

To counter my rather sensitive post on Knut, something far less cute. Three R ´n´ R albums with a crotch on the cover (O, the LP times, when the cover was as magical as the music itself… Something died when Internet took over). Same idea, different times and styles.

The Rolling Stones´ “Sticky Fingers” (1971) is beyond doubt one of the best R ´n´ R albums ever. The idea of the cover came when Andy Warhol told Mick Jagger that having a real zipper on a cover would be amusing. A year later, Jagger proposed the idea for “Sticky Fingers”. The packaging proved the Stones had not lost their gift for outrageousness.

A decade later, Mötley Crüe released "Too Fast For Love", one of the most influential albums of its genre, recorded in one week, with a sound as raw as sandpaper. The cover, a tribute of “Sticky Fingers”, is also a natural thing for the “Kings of cock Rock”. The leathered crotch of Vince Neil is a display of intentions from the biggest hoodlums of rock and roll.

WASP brinked on the absurd with “Animal” in 1984. Obsessed with gore, “The Chainsaw Massacre”, Alice Cooper, the original sleeve depicts a codpiece and a circular saw. Deemed too controversial, Capitol Records risked being banned from major retail chains, backed out and the single was shelved until the band stroke a deal with the independent label Music For Nations.

In Vienna, on Friday the 14th of July, 2006, at 21.20, The Rolling Stones´ palm tree and alcoholism Tour 2006 began by means of a sharp, loud and downright precise “Jumpin´ Jack Flash” that razed Ernst Happel Stadion to the ground, followed by a bit chaotic “It´s only rock and roll”. Is there any other group in this planet that can open a concert with two songs of such calibre? I think not.

After the initial apocalypse, Jagger greets the audience in German, or rather, Austrian: “Guten Abend die Madln, servas die Buam!”. He is in perfect form, totally fit, as he was on the 70s. He radiates energy. Impossible to believe he is older than 60. Keith, on the contrary, looks, maybe for the first time, truly and really used up, instead of simply faking that he is used up, as usual. Jagger is the idol, Richards the hero. With a cold audience already warmed up, “Oh no, not you again” slows the gig a bit, though it falls down fine upon the youngest. But then “Let´s spend the night together” turns the gig again into a party. Another song from the new album, “Rain falls down” takes the party atmosphere higher, due to its infectious funky rhythm. The ceremony is now in full swing but the pace is not as fast as one would wish. “She´s so cold” sorts that out completely; raw, unexpected, with Jagger howling, it catches us all off guard and the Stadium seems to be about to burst when, suddenly, it all goes down again with “Streets of love”. It is like a big dip, getting closer to heaven then down again. So it goes on, with a beautiful “As tears go by” that puts the audience in trance. The round of applause afterwards is deafening. Yet the audience is now cold again. The spell is broken.

It is only then that, apart from the adrenaline-charged opening, real magic begins to happen, via “Tumbling Dice”. That is perfection in progress. Impossible to go higher? Negative, for the next song is an old blues, “The night time is the right time”, a hommage to Ray Charles. It is not possible to describe the raw energy that beamed from the stage. Not possible, either, to help but think that they should do just that, play dirty, sweaty blues and forget all the new songs. It sounds like a whiplash. No other band could do anything so… bloody touching. It goes straight to the core of the bones. Awesome.

Jagger introduces the band, Richards and Charlie getting the loudest ovations. Keith goes to the microphone and sings “This place is empty without you”, one of those comatose slow songs he seems to love as of late. “Before they make me run” sounds better, but after the blues apotheosis, it does not suffice.

“Miss you”. Inevitably the gig goes further downhill for me. But, surprise surprise, they make it short and take advantage of it to show off a bit when a part of the stage takes off to the middle of the Stadium. A nice show trick. “Rough Justice” makes the people jump again. Return to rock and roll.

And then, it began to roar. The howling riff of “Start me up”, sharp and dirty as it should be finishes to wake up the audience. From then onwards that was not rock and roll. That was genocide, with a greater than ever Mick Jagger as king of the Universe and the band sounding almost like a group of punk teenagers, fast, loud and aggressive. They return to the stage with “Honky Tonk Woman”, whose end announces something different when all the lights go down, the big inflatable tongue-shaped balloon fails to inflate, the bewitched drums of “Sympathy for the devil” begin to sound and Jagger proves once again why he is the best frontman ever. He shows up, dressed in red, with the microphone attached to his face, begins to sing and holds the 45.000 people captive. All eyes are focused on him as he moves and sings. Nobody can manage that nowadays. He might be old, bur after all these years, he is still the definitive rock star. Searing eyes, powerful yet slender limbs, a mischievous smile. He oozes charisma. The flamethrowers belch as Richards then appears amid the smoke and lets his guitar howl. The solo sends shivers upon my spine. All the Stadium sings and shouts the “Huh-huh´s” , possessed by the primitive appeal of the song. As it fades, oriental sounds herald “Paint it black”, a song that never fails to trigger a joyful effect on any audience. Jagger is the embodiment of God. I am enthralled. No sooner had I recovered from the obscure last chords than the heaviest and most compact version I´ve ever heard of the much more direct and less elaborate but just as bigger-than-life “Brown Sugar” blows everyone at the show right off the floor. Almost frightening, the energy unleashed during the last 30 minutes.

The lights go down. They come on stage again 5 minutes later and play “You can´t always get what you want”, getting hold of the audience again. Nevertheless, great though the song might be, it feels like a cold shower after the 30 minutes hurricane and I can´t wait to see it explode again. It does. With an amphetaminic “Satisfaction” they shift again to overdrive and bid us farewell. It´s all there on the stage: three chords, the devilish rhythm, the basic riff. No surprise, no tricks. To put it in a nutshell: It´s only Rock and Roll. And I like it.

The world has yet to see another rock band that can match them.

• End of April: Keith Richards falls from a Palm tree. He wanted coconuts.
• Middle of May: The first 15 shows on The Rolling Stones "A Bigger Bang" European Tour from Barcelona, Spain on May 27 through to Zagreb, Croatia on July 5 are postponed.
• 2nd of June: I receive the following mail from ÖT (Österreich Tickets) News: "Sehr geehrte Kundin Sehr geehrter Kunde, wir haben folgende wichtige Information für Sie: Das Konzert der Rolling Stones am 20.06.06 in Wien wurde verschoben. Neuer Termin: 14.07.2006 im Ernst Happel Stadion! Bereits gekaufte Karten behalten ihre Gültigkeit!" Traslated, the new date for the gig is Friday the 14th of July.
• Today, barely 10 minutes ago: I receive the following mail from Sticky Fingers Journal: "WOOD IN REHAB - NOT CONFIRMED The Rolling Stones star RONNIE WOOD has entered an alcohol rehabilitation clinic in London, putting the band’s upcoming European tour in jeopardy once again. The guitarist checked himself into celebrity treatment centre The Priory last night (13JUN06) for the second time in just over a year. He was last treated in April 2005 and succeeded in staying sober for much of the band’s recent US tour. However, he was spotted drinking heavily earlier this month (JUN06) at his 59th birthday celebrations. Fans now fear he’ll be unable to kick off tour dates in Spain on 11 July (06), despite reassurances from the rocker’s spokesman. He says, "Ronnie needs some rest but he will definitely be fit for the first night of the European tour." The A Bigger Bang tour has already been delayed by two months after KEITH RICHARDS fell out of a tree while on holiday in Fiji in April (06) and suffered head injuries."

No one has said anything about postponing the new dates. It is almost funny, were it not utterly nerve-racking, the whole frigging shambles. 4 decades hitting the bottle and Ronnie checks in for rehabilitation NOW! It looks like a cosmic joke, and many weird things are happening to me as of late…

Since the Stones concerts were postponed, I check their website about 30 or 40 times a day. No new date for Vienna yet, but look who opens for the Stones in Germany:

Wow!!! Guns ´n´ Roses!!! Please God, May Axl open for the Stones in Vienna, please. Should Guns ´n´ Roses & Rolling Stones materialise for Vienna, I will then be able to rest in peace. Impossible to get any closer to heaven (unless you unite Led Zeppelin again or resurrect Jim Morrison).

The first 15 shows on The Rolling Stones "A Bigger Bang" European Tour from Barcelona, Spain on May 27 through to Zagreb, Croatia on July 5 have now been postponed. It comes from their official website. That includes Vienna, where it was scheduled to take place on the 20th of June. Shite. I´m buying a flight ticket to Fiji to fell off that bloody palm tree… World tour concert promoters TNA/CPI ask all ticket holders for these shows to retain their tickets until the rescheduled dates are announced in the next few days. The tour will now kick off at the beginning of July at a venue and city to be announced. If I happen to be out of Vienna that day, I will then have to kill somebody. The turk of my German course, who never shuts her mouth, has got possibilities…

I did not watch that devilish horror called Eurovision, yet it seems that the Finnish orks won. Bloody good show, a rock band! Is that really so? Okay, it is great that they won. Nevertheless, what the fuck has a rock band lost in Eurovision? Someone that intends to make serious rock and roll would never lower themselves to show up there, ever. Well, the song is not a total loss, judging by their outfit, one could be misled and suppose that LORDI are just another Scandinavian Black Metal band that sounds like a pneumatic drill.

Nothing of the kind. The winning song, HARD ROCK HALLELUYAH, is totally mellow and melodic, prone to be aired in any radio station, closer to Europe than to far harder sounds. Call it commercial or marketable if you like.

Whatever. Let´s aim where the crunch is, shall we? Does this mean that the people want more rock and roll? I beg to differ. Real rockers do not give a fuck about Eurovision. Anyway, LORDI´s victory might make the people realise that Scandinavia rocks. People voted for LORDI to represent Finland; that would never happen in Spain nor, I daresay, in any other country in Continental Europe. But something is stirring in Scandinavia. There is rock and roll there, and I am bloody not taking about LORDI (a very ordinary melodic band outfitted as idiots) or Europe (ti-ri-ri-ri, ti-ri-ri-ti-ti… the final countdown!! Aye, though I was vey young, I also endured that). I am not talking of the droves of Scandinavian Black Metal bands (devil worship and all that, downright funny and preposterous, but when it comes to playing they are zilch), either. I mean real rock and roll, that smells of bourbon and Marlboro, old school, that feasts on the Rolling Stones, Aerosmith and the other dinosaurs. Scandinavia has given birth to bands of such calibre as Hellacopters, Turbonegro or Backyard Babies.

But before all this, before the black metal boom, there appeared, roaring out of Finland´s gutters, another band, something huge: HANOI ROCKS. Born in Helsinki in 1980, they soon moved to Stockholm where they began to kick the local scene. These were hard days, yet their perormances were incredible. Success was just a stone´s throw away. Heirs to the ROLLING STONES, AEROSMITH, LITTLE RICHARD, NEW YORK DOLLS, IGGY POP or the best DAVID BOWIE, they blended and polished up a sound that included all that and provide it with their own personality. That, alongside a shocking glamurous image and a guileless rock and roll attitude, make them something enormous. A thing like this had never been seen or heard in Scandinavia before, ever. On the stage, they were simply awesome; their record "All Those Wasted Years", recorded live in the Marquee, London, shows the band sounding as perfectly sharp and deadly as a razorblade and displaying a hardly ever seen overdose of energy. They finally signed a contract with the multinational CBS. „Two steps from the move“ opens them the doors of the U.S.A. and Hanoi Rocks are hailed, along with others like Ratt or Mötley Crüe as founders of the “Sleazy Rock”, a movement that mingled big doses if glamour, the best of rock´n´roll and punk and a careless attitude. Hanoi Rocks were all the rage, and they seemed to be heading straight into the History of the Greatest. On the 9th of December Motley Crue vocalist Vince Neil and Hanoi Rocks drummer Razzle went for a ride in Neil’s new sports car. Drunken, Neil suddenly lost his control of the car and crossed into the northbound lanes and was struck by two other cars. Razzle was taken to the South Bay Hospital where he was pronounced dead at 7.12 p.m. The band was left totally devastated and it took but a few weeks until it was blown to smithereens.

The sad story of a cult band. But we´ve still got diamonds such as "Bangkok shocks, Shaigon shakes, Hanoi Rocks“, „Self destruction Blues“ or "All those wasted years". They are again recording and touring, 20 years after their time. Yet hanoi rocks: the revival is not HANOI ROCKS: THE LEGEND. Not by far. I hope Finland puts puts up a statue to singer Michael Monroe in Helsinki. He deserves it.

Guns’n'Roses vocalist Axl Rose once said that: "If Hanoi Rocks had reached the success they should have had, no-one would have ever heard of Guns’n'Roses.”